His care

A marker of faith has come back to me recently like a newly awakened flower from the dead of winter. I have been struggling with fear. The fear of watching my parents age and feeling helpless in making the right decisions for their health, the fear of flying (we are leaving in a couple weeks), the fear of God's will and plan for the future. Fear can take up a lot of mental space and if I decide to camp there then I am helpless to face the day. But just a few weeks ago as I was musing over these troubles, God gave me the verse
"Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Ps. 139: 12 & 13
He took me on a journey when I was a girl's camp counselor for 6th grade girls at Pinelow Camp north of Spokane, WA. I was assigned to one of the more primitive cabins at the camp with 12 girls in my charge. I had just finished welcoming my 12th girl when our director approached me with a mother and her daughter Debbie asking if I could add one more to my cabin. With a bit of reservation I said, "Well of course". Then I was briefed on the needs of this precious girl. She was handicapped on her right side and needed help in walking. She needed to shower every morning and help in eating. She had never been to camp before, if she got too hot she would go into seisures which would be an immediate concern. These seisures always started with a headache. I quickly realized that my other girls would have to cooperate in order to make this week meaningful for them and for our sweet Debbie. But I have to confess to you, I was scared I wasn't up for the task at hand. After the first night of devotions, introductions, prayer, instruction and lights out I laid down on my bunk praying that God would see me through this week and that He would make a difference in each girls life. When I was done praying I reached for my alarm clock to wake me up in time to go take my shower first, then come and get Debbie to shower, wake up the girls, and then it hit me, I forgot my alarm clock. I can remember the fear that flooded my heart as I prayed to our faithful God and asked Him to please wake me up at 5:30 every morning so I could get ready for the day. Every morning that week He woke me up at 5:30 on the dot. As the week contined my confidence in knowing He would awaken me grew and His peace came over me like a warm blanket. He knew I was helpless without Him. The next day I could have found an alarm clock to borrow or asked someone to get me up but instead I felt that God was asking me to trust Him and I did, completely. I am so very thankful for this marker in my life and as I began to reflect on that week He reminded me of His precise provision. I will be sharing more about this experience and our sweet girl, Debbie, that was entrusted to me but for a time. My prayer is that you will "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7

His - Joni